LOVE, LOVE ME DO

What is love?

I cant define love. Much like other feelings and emotions, love is different for each person. In my experience, love is pretty uncomfortable. Not ultimately of course, but more in the "in between" moments of love. When I am with someone I love, especially in a romantic sense, there is nowhere else that I would rather be, absolutely nothing I would rather be doing. It is like being high on some sort of drug that dulls everything that exists around me, like the surroundings and the other people, and enhances the focus and connection between myself and the loved. A perpetual euphoria exists when I am with that person. But with the "with moments" there are of course the "without" moments. Saying goodbye to someone who I love is probably the hardest thing that I have had to do. Not in the break up sense at all. In every "Goodnight!" there is a nagging sensation of impatience looking forward to the next time I will see that person. I am, by nature, a very impatiente person and it is very hard for me not to constantly think about the person when I am not with them, wishing and anticipating when I will see them again. This is the uncomfortable aspect and it usually dominates most of the time when I am involved with someone who I am in love with. This has only happened twice in my life. Fortunatly, the "with" moments are so incredibly, undeniably wonderful that they easily make up for the "without" moments.

Falling in love has never been slow for me. Sometimes I confuse "lust" with "love" but this is usually only an intitial feeling. When I fell in love for the first time, it took 4 days. It sounds absolutely unfeasable however, I maintain, and will always believe that I was in love and still do love the person. I am no longer in love, however I was for more than a year and it happened in 4 days. Other than that, I have been usually able to tell whether or not someone at least has a the potential of being someone that I love within a short while of being romantically involved. Sometimes it sneaks up, and that is fine. I think that people who jump to quickly to a defined emotinonal state in a relationship, close themselves off to the truth in that connection. Something like love can grow, however, it assumes a certain gravity that must be supported by REAL feelings that are not simply motivated by lust. I do believe that lust is essential to romantic love.

I think that feelings of love can be manipulated. Hormones released during sex have been proven to create a chemical feeling of love in women. Something about how humans are animals that mate once, as opposed to chimpanzees who have many mates. Almost some sort of cave woman instinct or something...its not me, its scientists. Anyway, I think that emotions are easily played upon and the same holds true for love. The number of ways people do this to each other is endless, however, it can be purposely done or subconsciously done as well.

But regardless of the somewhat questionable aspects of love, I think that it is one of the most pure emotions and if felt truly, can be the most wonderful thing that someone can experience.